If I don't accomplish anything else in life, I have given the planet Earth a green son.

No, I am not referring to his shade of green after eating too much cotton candy and riding too many rides at the carnival; nor am I referring to the fingerprint stains he leaves on his mother's new coach from the Kool-Aid and Popsicles and Play-Do, etc.

I am referring to my son's passion for recycling and saving energy. Turn your child "green" at an early age, and they'll always be green. At least that's what I tell his mother, who often says that I'm a big green pain in the rear end.

I take full credit for this 5-year-old's obsession for being green and wanting to help save the planet. Every week, we drive down to the local rural recycling center and take turns pitching in our bottles, cans, and jugs to help do our part to save the planet. We make it a father-son tradition and kind of a game, like basketball. Every shot is two points, and every time you break a glass bottle inside the right bin it's three points. Meanwhile, I remind him of why we are doing this and just how important it is to our environment that we recycle and conserve energy.

(And every weekend I do my part to reinforce this lesson of recycling by drinking as many sodas and beers as the law, my liver, and common decency will allow, just so he can have plenty of recycling practice. It's the least I can do for my planet. )

We also break down and save the cardboard boxes and packaging from all the toys and other gifts we get at Christmas even though it really annoys Mom, who is in full psycho-holiday-neat freak-mother mode and just wants to get all the trash bagged up and the house cleaned up as soon as possible.

(Hey, anytime you can enjoy Christmas, save the planet, and annoy Mom at the same time it's a good holiday. Merry X-mas to us.)

And even Mom is getting into the green act, judging by how that sneaky woman slips around behind my back and recycles all my newspapers (I call them my collection, she calls them a bed for rats) and my swimsuit issues of Sports Illustrated (I call them art, she calls them something else), even though she does complain sometimes when the neighbors come over and ask questions about all the bins of soda and beer cans on the back porch. (I just tell them the little woman has a drinking problem, but we're working on getting her some help.)

And the environmentally-friendly lessons are sticking with the young green fellow, even when other lessons don't (like flushing the toilet and using soap). He goes around the house turning off lights behind Mom and Dad yelling "Save the planet" and he came to the office the other day and criticized all my co-workers for "not being green" just because they had a few soda cans in the trash, which he promptly dug out.

I've noticed that he is even being kinder to animals now: he releases all lizards, frogs, or bugs back into the wild after he chases Mom around the house with them a few times.

Now that my son is green, it's up to me to step up to his example. I need to better conserve energy around the home by patching some leaks. I need to switch over to those new energy efficient light bulbs and buy some energy efficient appliances and maybe even replace my old rusty, squeaky Ford with one of those hybrids.

Meanwhile, I'd better keep a close eye on my newspaper and magazine collections.

Suggestion box
If your family believes in being green, drop me a line or an email to michael.dewitt@hamptoncountyguardian.com and share your story.